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Fandom-wise, on the other hand, things are awesome! I finished my spn_j2_xmas story, Roses in the Rain, and I really loved writing it. Also loved writing for the spn_bigpretzel Holiday Drabble Challenge, which ends today, although I couldn't quite keep up with my goal of a 100-word drabble each day! (I only wrote four.) I'm deep into the porny thing I'm doing for January smpc and I have a wildly out-of-control draft for sammybigbang. Got the draft in for spn_reversebang this past week, but it needs work too, so. I haven't had enough time to read all the wonderful fics coming out this month, but I adore the wonderful, twisted xmas fic written for me by dimeliora so please check it out here.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, and much happiness to all!
This is NOT anyone's fault but my own, needless to say; the wonderful mods of this challenge are fabulous people and extremely talented writers, so I have only myself to blame for my own misery. I hope I've learned my lesson and next time I'll choose a comedy (Marriage of Figaro, maybe?) I just like the aria so much and I couldn't resist the thing with the hair *sigh*. I'm doomed.
Can I just go back to yesterday and start over, please???
Trying to write 1,000 words a day and starting to get into this new fic. Young Sam is so addicting!
This story has such a deep, emotional effect on me, I can't possibly explain it. I read FANGASM and Fandom at the Crossroads and it doesn't quite explore how deeply the individual person is effected by this story -- for me, it's as much a PERSONAL journey as a desire for community that hooks me so deeply. I've spent a year on my own, mostly, with this fandom -- writing, writing, writing -- because I feel I HAVE TO EXPRESS what the Winchesters' story makes me feel, whether anyone reads what I write or not.
But of course I'm human, and so I'm a social animal, and the need to connect -- to make my story matter and count for something -- brings me to communities like this one and the wonderful people I'm meeting through LJ and tumblr (how sad is it that I have NO ONE in my personal life who understands how important this story is?) and so in the end Lyn and Katherine are right, of course.
So here I am, finishing my first SPN challenge, joining this amazing fandom despite my innate shyness and introverted nature. So grateful, so humbled, so ridiculously excited!
Missing my show, of course. Wishing I could stay in the world I've been writing. Wee!chesters and schmoop and cuddling and oh hell, lots of brother-loving and I don't want to leave! But the end is near -- if I can get this thing done this weekend it's off to my awesome beta and the incredible artist who are both blowing my mind with their insights and support. It's been an incredible journey, thanks to them, and I feel so so lucky I can't even express.
If I can just let this thing go I can move on -- is this like childbirth? NO, it's more like letting the first child go after 18 years of constant companionship!
Anyway, I'm a little tipsy and I have to work tomorrow but at least I get Christmas off and I'm still so ridiculously clueless and lonely in this fandom that here I am writing this at 10:00 p.m. the day before Christmas Eve how pathetic is that?!
Also, I'm totally procrastinating bc I'm getting towards the end of my latest long fic and it's scaring the shit outta me. It's long and it's SO emotional and I'm having the most AMAZING experience with the most incredible beta and gorgeous artist and I'm --
Okay, time to stop. This is going on way too long!
So just signing off, and may you all have a less-than-horrific Christmas with someone who cares about you as much as you deserve.
Back to work!
Working on this endless fic about baby Winchesters. It's too cute for its own good, of course, but I seem to need to do it anyway. It's taking forever! I've got over 55,000K words written and I've been revising and revising. It's got a lot of stuff I love - Time Travel, Canon-Divergence, John as a struggling single dad. Plus grown men trying to take care of babies. Oh, and did I mention multiple Sams and Deans? Definitely a major kink for me, I guess, seeing as how I seem to write a lot of stories with more than one of each. Not sure what that says about my state of mind, but since this show inspires me to do more writing than I've done in the past fifteen years, I guess it's