amypond45: (red-shirt Dean)
Having seen others do this end-of-the-year wrap-up thing, I'm not going to feel too shy about doing it myself. Seriously, there's value in taking stock of last year's accomplishments and setting goals for the coming year, right? And there are times when I really need the encouragement and motivation that creative accomplishment provides, so there's that, too.

Read more... )
amypond45: (red-shirt Dean)
I need to do a year-end summary for myself of my own creative output, and set some goals and resolutions for myself. I do.

Read more... )
amypond45: (red-shirt Dean)
This week is the one when I feel least in control the whole year. Christmas is coming up, I still have shopping to do (little stuff for stockings, so I can't just order them, not that they'll come in time anyway!) I have to work every day but Christmas this week, when I really need to stay home and get ready for Christmas. I have piles of unwrapped gifts in the closet, haven't finished the grocery shopping for those weirdly different-because-they're-supposed-to-be-special Christmas Day meals, and now we've decided to go to the midnight Mass on Christmas Eve, after working all day and trying to get said gifts wrapped. All I want to do is drink!

Fandom-wise, on the other hand, things are awesome! I finished my [livejournal.com profile] spn_j2_xmas story, Roses in the Rain, and I really loved writing it. Also loved writing for the [livejournal.com profile] spn_bigpretzel Holiday Drabble Challenge, which ends today, although I couldn't quite keep up with my goal of a 100-word drabble each day! (I only wrote four.) I'm deep into the porny thing I'm doing for January [livejournal.com profile] smpc and I have a wildly out-of-control draft for [livejournal.com profile] sammybigbang. Got the draft in for [livejournal.com profile] spn_reversebang this past week, but it needs work too, so. I haven't had enough time to read all the wonderful fics coming out this month, but I adore the wonderful, twisted xmas fic written for me by [livejournal.com profile] dimeliora so please check it out here.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, and much happiness to all!

Venting

Aug. 9th, 2015 03:40 pm
amypond45: (Wet Sam)
Just finished my fic for [livejournal.com profile] spnopera and I'm in agony. This is torture, I say, PURE torture! Why did I do this to myself? How can I write something with such a blatantly sad ending? I always try to leave things open-ended, the possibility just beyond the end of the story that maybe, MAYBE this time, something good will come out of the pain and sorrow and TRAGEDY of these boys' lives! This was supposed to be FUN, damn it! Now everybody's gonna hate me when they read it and I don't blame them. Me too! Wahhhhhh!

This is NOT anyone's fault but my own, needless to say; the wonderful mods of this challenge are fabulous people and extremely talented writers, so I have only myself to blame for my own misery. I hope I've learned my lesson and next time I'll choose a comedy (Marriage of Figaro, maybe?) I just like the aria so much and I couldn't resist the thing with the hair *sigh*. I'm doomed.
amypond45: (Default)
Finished! Story complete at 55K words (WHAT THE HELL!) so now it's time to edit and proof and LET GO. Wahhh! I swear it's like giving up a kid or something! I just don't want to leave these babies! But I have to believe they'll be fine, all will be well, etc. because it's all I can do. I have to be a responsible adult and move on to the next project. I HAVE TO!

This story has such a deep, emotional effect on me, I can't possibly explain it. I read FANGASM and Fandom at the Crossroads and it doesn't quite explore how deeply the individual person is effected by this story -- for me, it's as much a PERSONAL journey as a desire for community that hooks me so deeply. I've spent a year on my own, mostly, with this fandom -- writing, writing, writing -- because I feel I HAVE TO EXPRESS what the Winchesters' story makes me feel, whether anyone reads what I write or not.

But of course I'm human, and so I'm a social animal, and the need to connect -- to make my story matter and count for something -- brings me to communities like this one and the wonderful people I'm meeting through LJ and tumblr (how sad is it that I have NO ONE in my personal life who understands how important this story is?) and so in the end Lyn and Katherine are right, of course.

So here I am, finishing my first SPN challenge, joining this amazing fandom despite my innate shyness and introverted nature. So grateful, so humbled, so ridiculously excited!
amypond45: (Default)
Okay, so I started writing and posting fan fiction about one year ago. One year and one month or so ago, to be semi-exact. The first story was awful, duh, Read more... ) but the muse was with me and my excitement about this show was overwhelming so I got a few good lines in here and there. That was about this time last year, and I didn't know what I was doing so I followed Lyn and the Fangasm stuff and based on what she said I did my best over here at LJ but it had been so long since I did a fandom (ten years!) that I really couldn't get the hang of it so I got hooked on tumblr and ended up finding friends there, so. But eventually I ended up back here bc this is where so much great fan fiction is made and I NEED IT. Vidders, writers, artists to help me make sense of this amazing story and I NEED to write about it, so.

Anyway, I'm a little tipsy and I have to work tomorrow but at least I get Christmas off and I'm still so ridiculously clueless and lonely in this fandom that here I am writing this at 10:00 p.m. the day before Christmas Eve how pathetic is that?!

Also, I'm totally procrastinating bc I'm getting towards the end of my latest long fic and it's scaring the shit outta me. It's long and it's SO emotional and I'm having the most AMAZING experience with the most incredible beta and gorgeous artist and I'm --

Okay, time to stop. This is going on way too long!

So just signing off, and may you all have a less-than-horrific Christmas with someone who cares about you as much as you deserve.
amypond45: (Default)
So. Making progress on this latest story, my first fic for a Big Bang challenge. No beta yet. Wondering how I can find one...need to ask someone. This is all so new and weird! Next check-in is Monday. I have about 18K words now and still getting fresh ideas. The mid-season finale gave me another story about their growing up days! So excited to see if I can include that somehow!
amypond45: (Default)
Writing for my first challenge and am so excited I feel like somebody gave me a pony! Plus a wonderful illustrator has agreed to make art to go with my story, how utterly amazeballs is that?! Also I've got my first gig as a beta to a wonderful, brilliant author whose work I adore and admire SO MUCH it just feels unreal to be emailing back and forth with her. I don't think I could be more excited if I met Jensen Ackles or Jared Padalecki in person (how else do you meet someone? In unperson?) Anyway, now I need to take my own advice and get down to work. These things don't write themselves, do they?

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