It is this. It's such a helpless feeling. And I'm embarrassed to be so invested in this man I don't even know. I mean, I'm an educated, reasonable human being who knows the difference between fiction and reality, and up to now I've been able to keep from feeling anything toward J & J except appreciation for their portrayal of Sam & Dean, and enjoyment of posted vids and pics of their public appearances. But for some reason, this just devastated me. I guess it pushed the buttons where I've kept my own depression hidden for so many years, and having him just come out and admit to it, then to tweet so openly and honestly of his need for help, bringing this issue front and foremost to so many people...it's just way beyond moving to me.