Crying into the Void over someone I don't even know...

[amypond45]

When Jared's tweets came in last night at about 9:30 my time all I could think was it's like 2:30 in the morning in Europe and Jared is crying out for help and it hit so hard I don't know how to express it. So I followed tweets for awhile until I was just too exhausted and teary-eyed to think, and then woke up again at 4:00 a.m. to check my twitter feed again and listen to Jensen sing "Sweet Home Alabama" and ask myself, okay, this is a person I've never met. I get why I cry about the characters, but why am I crying over this person I don't even know? Could someone please explain this to me? Cuz I'm a wreck. Yes, I sent tweets to him because ONLY THE MOST HARD-HEARTED MONSTER COULD RESIST THAT PLEA! Now I just need to vent because these emotions are stronger than they should be and my brain is telling me I'm a complete idiot but my heart is just sobbing.

Thanks for letting me vent, world!

Comments

[amypond45.livejournal.com]

I think writing about them all the time makes them seem more real, and writing a J2 story right now where Jared is depressed is just frickin' weird. I'm feeling guilty, like I'm doing something wrong, which is bizarre in so many ways I can't get my head around it! I've struggled with depression too (who hasn't?!) so it's near and dear to my heart to write a character who's suffering with it, and of course it's just coincidence that this happened to Jared, but I still feel MISERABLE, like it's somehow my fault or something. I know, that's just the crazy talking, but it's hard to shake!