Done and Done

[amypond45]

Finished! Story complete at 55K words (WHAT THE HELL!) so now it's time to edit and proof and LET GO. Wahhh! I swear it's like giving up a kid or something! I just don't want to leave these babies! But I have to believe they'll be fine, all will be well, etc. because it's all I can do. I have to be a responsible adult and move on to the next project. I HAVE TO!

This story has such a deep, emotional effect on me, I can't possibly explain it. I read FANGASM and Fandom at the Crossroads and it doesn't quite explore how deeply the individual person is effected by this story -- for me, it's as much a PERSONAL journey as a desire for community that hooks me so deeply. I've spent a year on my own, mostly, with this fandom -- writing, writing, writing -- because I feel I HAVE TO EXPRESS what the Winchesters' story makes me feel, whether anyone reads what I write or not.

But of course I'm human, and so I'm a social animal, and the need to connect -- to make my story matter and count for something -- brings me to communities like this one and the wonderful people I'm meeting through LJ and tumblr (how sad is it that I have NO ONE in my personal life who understands how important this story is?) and so in the end Lyn and Katherine are right, of course.

So here I am, finishing my first SPN challenge, joining this amazing fandom despite my innate shyness and introverted nature. So grateful, so humbled, so ridiculously excited!

Comments

[elwarre.livejournal.com]

This is such a very cruel post, because I want to read it now. :) When does it post?

[amypond45.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha! ::evil laughter::: Cruelty is my specialty \o/

My first challenge is this one: http://spnkinkbb.tumblr.com (oh god I don't know what I'm doing -- I hope that link works!) It's supposed to start posting on February 15, I think. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm sure having fun doing it!!!

[smalltrolven.livejournal.com]

You're done! Hurrah! Send me the rest.... *rubs hands in gleeful anticipation**
Did you get the file I sent yesterday? Your first half betaed.
If the rest of the story is at all like the first half, I can definitely see why you're so deeply affected, it would be hard not to be. You really dug deep into it.
I so identify with your last two statements. It sucks that I have no one in my personal life who I can crow about finishing an important-to-me story. (That's what lj is for I suppose!) But no one would understand the connection I feel with this show, and I am reluctant to share that I'm writing fan-fic, especially of the wincest variety. Kinda hard to explain, so I don't even try.

And yeah, beginning in a fandom and putting yourself out there, getting over the shyness is tough. I found it really hard to do. But you, my dear, you're doing it, and fandom is better for it because your writing is spectaculacular as Sam would say!

[amypond45.livejournal.com]

And for your amazing job beta-ing, dearest girl, I am even more humbled! You are such a treasure!! I spent the entire hour during mass today thinking through some re-writes and responses to your awesome questions -- got so distracted I said "Thank you" when the priest gave me the host (oops!) Now I know I'm going to hell (well, for that and the *ahem* gay incest *ahem* of course!)