Okay, 2016. You sucked. Except for fic! Also Ackles twins. I'm late posting this because 2016 sucked personally in major, major ways for me that I don't want to go into right now because this is a happy post, damn it! I'm so grateful for fandom and the joy in reading and writing and sharing that it gives me. I wish there was something more I could do to give back or pay forward all the love and support and hope I find here, but anyway. At least I can post this list of some of the most awesome fics I've read this year. So here it is, in no particular order and probably badly coded despite my best efforts (damn iPad 2! I need a new one!) This list is dismally incomplete, but I'm determined to get it out before this month is done, so.

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Finished! Story complete at 55K words (WHAT THE HELL!) so now it's time to edit and proof and LET GO. Wahhh! I swear it's like giving up a kid or something! I just don't want to leave these babies! But I have to believe they'll be fine, all will be well, etc. because it's all I can do. I have to be a responsible adult and move on to the next project. I HAVE TO!

This story has such a deep, emotional effect on me, I can't possibly explain it. I read FANGASM and Fandom at the Crossroads and it doesn't quite explore how deeply the individual person is effected by this story -- for me, it's as much a PERSONAL journey as a desire for community that hooks me so deeply. I've spent a year on my own, mostly, with this fandom -- writing, writing, writing -- because I feel I HAVE TO EXPRESS what the Winchesters' story makes me feel, whether anyone reads what I write or not.

But of course I'm human, and so I'm a social animal, and the need to connect -- to make my story matter and count for something -- brings me to communities like this one and the wonderful people I'm meeting through LJ and tumblr (how sad is it that I have NO ONE in my personal life who understands how important this story is?) and so in the end Lyn and Katherine are right, of course.

So here I am, finishing my first SPN challenge, joining this amazing fandom despite my innate shyness and introverted nature. So grateful, so humbled, so ridiculously excited!