amypond45: (Wet Sam)
amypond45 ([personal profile] amypond45) wrote2015-08-09 03:40 pm

Venting

Just finished my fic for [livejournal.com profile] spnopera and I'm in agony. This is torture, I say, PURE torture! Why did I do this to myself? How can I write something with such a blatantly sad ending? I always try to leave things open-ended, the possibility just beyond the end of the story that maybe, MAYBE this time, something good will come out of the pain and sorrow and TRAGEDY of these boys' lives! This was supposed to be FUN, damn it! Now everybody's gonna hate me when they read it and I don't blame them. Me too! Wahhhhhh!

This is NOT anyone's fault but my own, needless to say; the wonderful mods of this challenge are fabulous people and extremely talented writers, so I have only myself to blame for my own misery. I hope I've learned my lesson and next time I'll choose a comedy (Marriage of Figaro, maybe?) I just like the aria so much and I couldn't resist the thing with the hair *sigh*. I'm doomed.

[identity profile] amypond45.livejournal.com 2015-08-09 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, whiney self. That was unbelievably pathetic. I don't think I need to tell you that when you are whiney and negative NOBODY wants to know about it, ya got me? So shut up already.

[identity profile] milly-gal.livejournal.com 2015-08-10 07:34 am (UTC)(link)
Oh hun, I think the fact that you know how much sad endings upset you and you still went through with it shows great courage and determination to finish a challenge *hugs*

[identity profile] amypond45.livejournal.com 2015-08-10 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, and it didn't help that I just read [livejournal.com profile] gojyochan's incredible story for this year's [livejournal.com profile] spn_j2_bigbang (Talk about devastating!) or [livejournal.com profile] thursdaysisters's wonderfully horrible (horribly wonderful?!) piece for this challenge. I seem to need to destroy myself this summer!

[identity profile] gojyochan.livejournal.com 2015-08-10 09:03 pm (UTC)(link)
All I can say is that you should find a way to enjoy your reader's reactions even if their hearts are broken! I went into my BB wanting to hurt people (sorry, I was in a weird place creatively!) and once they started being truly upset I felt horrible! I had to get past it because I knew it would be heartache filled and embrace the feedback. I am writing fluff now for my next challenge as a pallette cleanser! Hugs!

[identity profile] amypond45.livejournal.com 2015-08-22 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
"...you should find a way to enjoy your reader's reactions even if their hearts are broken!"

I so much agree with this! I'm always so grateful for every single comment, and I am appreciating the responses to this fic with extra-special passion, no lie. But I have decided it's time to take a step back for a few weeks, just read all the wonderful BB and summergen fics I've been missing, plus there's new porn!

[identity profile] tipsy-kitty.livejournal.com 2015-08-10 12:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, I know that feeling! I traumatized myself writing last year's BB :) and I keep putting off my opera fic... I mean, to be fair, I'm procrastinating all my fics, though.

[identity profile] amypond45.livejournal.com 2015-08-10 06:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, now I need to go back and read your last year's BB! (I'm obviously on some kind of masochist kick right now. It's a dangerous pattern!)

[identity profile] thursdaysisters.livejournal.com 2015-08-10 12:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Dude I felt the exact same way, I was cringing at the things I did to my characters, but angst has it's place in fandom :D

[identity profile] amypond45.livejournal.com 2015-08-10 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Dude, I LOVE your [livejournal.com profile] spnopera piece! You devastated me with that fic! I was too shaken up to even post a comment, and I NEVER do that, so. Okay, now I know I'm on a sad-fic kick. Maybe because I can't read or write this way in the winter? Oh, whatever.

[identity profile] thursdaysisters.livejournal.com 2015-08-10 08:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Glad you liked it! :-D Samson is such a great opera, did you listen to the whole thing or just the dungeon aria? You gonna post your fic soon or are you doing art as well?

[identity profile] amypond45.livejournal.com 2015-08-11 12:13 am (UTC)(link)
Actually, it's the other aria, the one Delilah sings outside her tent after making Samson fall for her. I think the English translation is "My Heart Opens to Your Voice" (with Samson singing "Je t'aime" in the background --- arghh!) Such a tear-jerker!

And oh yes! I intend to post this week, as soon as I proof this monster one more time!
Edited 2015-08-11 00:33 (UTC)

[identity profile] aerynsun5.livejournal.com 2015-08-22 06:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Dude! I loved it, and I totally thought it had a happy ending. Knowing they were bound together, and would get together again at least once, was very comforting to me.

[identity profile] amypond45.livejournal.com 2015-08-22 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)
You are AWESOME to see this! That's exactly what I was hoping to convey when I started writing, thinking I could force the damn story into having a happy "angle," if not a happy ending. So glad you saw it the way I intended! *hugs*

[identity profile] aerynsun5.livejournal.com 2015-08-22 10:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Hey, once a soulmate, always a soulmate, right?