amypond45

Title: I Might Like You Better If We Slept Together
Author: AmyPond45
Genre: SPN, Romance
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Word Count: 9,729
Warnings: Underage (in the past), sibling incest (Wincest!), excessive schmoop, possible non-con
A/N: Written for the smpc. The title is from "Never Say Never" by Romeo Void.

Summary: Every night, when Sam and Dean go to bed, they're in separate beds, fully clothed. Every morning they wake up in each other's arms, in the same bed, naked, with no memory of how they got there. What the hell?! Set early in Season 1.



READ IT HERE ON LJ | READ IT HERE ON A03

Title: Roses in the Rain
Author: amypond45
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Word Count: 12,500
Warnings: UST between siblings (implied future Wincest, nothing explicit)
Summary: Twenty-two years ago, Dean's mom and baby brother both died in the fire in Sam's nursery, and John raised Dean in the hunting life, on a continuing quest for the thing that destroyed their family. Now, Dean and John are on a hunt. People are disappearing along a certain stretch of highway, so John and Dean decide to check it out. They get separated, and John goes missing, his truck abandoned By the side of the road. When Dean checks out the area, he sees a light through the trees, but before he has a chance to investigate, a young man appears.

A/N: This fic was created as a gift for colls for the 2015 spn_j2_xmas Exchange. Thanks to smalltrolven for her excellent beta help.


READ IT ON LJ || READ IT ON AO3

Title: If I Leave Here
Author: amypond45
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 5,100
Characters: Sam, Dean
Summary: Dean's been hit in the head on a hunt (again) and finds he's suffering from memory loss that's a little, uh, selective.
Warning: Wincest, sibling incest
A/N: Written for smpc


READ IT ON AO3


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CHAPTER 6

They rode in silence for a long time then, Other!Sam brooding, Dean processing what he had just heard, till Dean couldn't stand it anymore and turned on the radio. Except of course out here in the middle of nowhere, Nebraska, there wasn't much in the way of decent radio -- so of course he put on Zeppelin and Other!Sam groaned and complained and Dean flashed a grin at him and drummed along on the steering wheel until Other!Sam slid down on the seat and crossed his arms across his massive chest and relaxed again, lost in the familiar, comforting sounds and smells of home.

When they pulled up to the Roadhouse it was a little after noon. Other!Sam climbed out of the car with a look of wonder on his face, and Dean clapped him on the back and led him inside, where REO Speedwagon blared from the jukebox and Ellen Harvelle stood at the bar, looking up with a smile of pure pleasure as they came inside.

"Well, look who it is," she drawled, leaving her post to cross around where she could fold them both into warm hugs.

"Hi Ellen," Other!Sam breathed as she pulled him in, squeezing his eyes shut in an obvious effort to fight back tears. He held her a minute longer than was necessary, and when he released her she pulled back to look up at him with an expression of compassion spiced with her special brand of country street-smarts that Dean always appreciated in her. She was exactly the kind of woman he could've married, if the cards had lined up right and their ages weren't so different. But instead, Ellen had Jo -- and Ash, who surprised him by turning out steadier and less geeky than he could have imagined eight years ago when he first met the mullet-headed genius.

As if he heard himself being thought about, Ash was suddenly there, his arm around his wife, and Other!Sam stared at them like he'd seen another ghost -- which Dean knew was exactly what he was seeing, from his point of view.

"Ash? and Jo?" Other!Sam breathed. "You two are together?"

Jo lifted her ring finger to show off an impressive diamond match-set. "Going on five years now," she said proudly. "And two-year-old Billy makes three." She crouched down as a little tow-headed boy ran out from behind the bar and into her arms, and Dean watched as Other!Sam's face registered the existence of a child who had never even been born in his world.

"Well, if it isn't the Winchesters," Rufus Turner's booming voice sounded behind them, and Dean turned to find his hand clasped warmly in both of Rufus's, who then turned to offer the same to Other!Sam. "Good to see you boys," Rufus noted. "I hear there's some trouble brewin' in Wyoming tonight."

Dean nodded. "You in?" he asked. "We could sure use the help."

"We're all in," Ellen noted. "Just tell us what to do."

Other!Sam was looking panicked, his eyes darting from one to the other of the faces around him, haunted.

"Uh, Dean, I don't know if that's a good idea -- " he said hesitantly. "I think maybe we should handle this one ourselves."

Dean frowned for a minute, a feeling of foreboding eroding his confidence.

Then he shook his head. "These people are good hunters, Sam," he said. "You said yourself we don't know what to expect. Bobby called these folks because he could see we could use the back up. I trust his call on that. You should too."

Other!Sam took a deep breath. "It's not that, Dean," he said. "I just don't want to put anyone else in danger."

"If there's a demon-door somewhere on this earth, Sam, we're already in danger," Ellen said. "It's only a matter of time before that thing opens on its own, and it's just one state over. Better we figure out how to stop it now, get a handle on the thing before it gets a handle on us first."

Other!Sam shook his head, but Dean could see he wasn't going to keep arguing. Nobody was listening anyway.

Word had spread quickly of a plan to kill demons. Other hunters, clearly alerted to the job and looking to join, strode up as they moved a few tables together, sat down with a bottle or two provided by Ellen, and went over the details. Dean recognized Dan Elkins, his dad's old hunting partner, as well as Isaac and Tamara Jackson. Other!Sam's haunted gaze moved from one face to the next, and Dean got a sinking feeling they were all dead in his world.

Damn.

Then he pushed the feeling down firmly so he could focus on the job at hand.

"So, Sam thinks the thing we need is in a safe in your basement," Dean explained to Ellen once they were seated, a bottle of whiskey and some pretzels on the table between them.

Ellen looked from one to the other of the Winchesters, considering.

"You mean the map," she clarified, and Other!Sam nodded.

"It's a one-hundred-square mile devil's trap," Other!Sam explained. "Built by Samuel Colt. The Devil's Gate is in the center of it."

"So we just walk into this devil's trap and open the gate?" Ellen said. "Then what?"

"That's what we're not so sure about," Dean said. "We think once the gate opens, the blast of power or energy or whatever will open a temporary portal between our world and the place Sam comes from. My brother should be able to step through."

"Along with about a hundred demons," Ellen said.

"Not if we get the gate shut again fast enough," Dean said. "Sam thinks we'll have about a minute to get the gate closed again after he comes through."

"A minute. As in sixty seconds." Ellen's voice was dry, disbelieving.

Dean nodded.

"Seems like a pretty big risk for such a small return," Isaac commented. "Why should we go to all that trouble for one man? What's so special about Sam Winchester? No offense," he added, glancing at Other!Sam.

"None taken, believe me," Other!Sam breathed bitterly.

Dean felt rage building in his chest, took a minute to simmer down before answering.

"He's got valuable intel," he said, keeping his voice deadly quiet, calm. "Sam's knowledge of that other world is essential if we're gonna survive what's coming. He thinks there are breaches between our two worlds that are starting to cause things to bleed through -- demons, yeah, but other stuff too. He's spent almost two months over there, understands what we're up against. We're gonna need him if we want to stop these things from taking over this world."

Dean could feel Other!Sam's eyes on him and deliberately avoided returning the look of disbelief on his not-brother's face. Yeah, so maybe the "breach" thing was stretching it a bit, but Dean had seen enough sci-fi t.v. shows to make up all kinds of crazy shit. And he had years of experience as a liar, as Other!Sam well knew.

And that last part, at least, was true. Sam did understand that world better than anyone, present company excepted, and his knowledge of things over there would help them, especially if all those things got loose.

Isaac still looked skeptical, was still weighing the cost versus benefit of rescuing Dean's brother.

But of course it didn't really matter what Isaac thought, because one way or another, Dean was going to do this thing, even if he had to do it alone.

Which he wouldn't, since Other!Sam would be there, at least. And probably Bobby and his dad as well.

"Well I, for one, am in," Ellen announced, and several voices immediately chimed in.

"Let's kick some demon ass," Ash agreed, pumping his fist, amid a chorus of testosterone-infused "Yeah!"s and back claps for Dean and Other!Sam.

Ellen retrieved the map from the basement safe and they spread it on the table. Other!Sam drew the pentagram connecting the five frontier-era churches, then circled the location of the old cowboy cemetery in the center. Since Other!Sam was the only one who had actually been to the cemetery before, he and Dean would lead the way, and the rest of the group agreed to gather weapons and meet on the highway on the way down just after dark, which should allow them time to get to the cemetery and set demon traps before the appointed time.

While Other!Sam said his goodbyes to the visiting hunters, Dean called Bobby to give him an update. Dean watched Other!Sam's gaze linger on each of his friends in turn, drinking in their existence with a mixture of relief and sorrow as he promised to see them again soon. As usual, Ash was staying home with the baby so Jo could come along -- Dean felt some pride at the skilled hunter Jo had become over the years, thought fondly of how Jo had taken her earlier crush on him and channeled it into a serious drive to become a better hunter than either of her parents.

Good thing he hadn't let that happen, he reflected now as he watched her with her husband and child. Of course he'd been so wrapped up in Sam at the time he hadn't really paid her much attention anyway. And he couldn't remember the moment he realized her interest in him was less romantic and more sisterly, but as he watched her now she raised her eyes to his and smiled, then glanced at his not-brother, then back at him with a nod, her unspoken promise to use all the skill and natural ability Dean and her dad had inspired in her to help him get his brother back, because she trusted him.

And because she knew what his brother meant to Dean and knew she had never really had a chance against that more-than-brothers bond between the Winchesters.

"Dean," Other!Sam was calling him out of his reverie, and he jerked his head around to meet Other!Sam's eyes. "Time to get going, man."

Other!Sam's slanted hazel eyes softened for a moment as they met Dean's, and suddenly Dean wanted to gather the big guy into his arms and just hold him for awhile --

OK, time to go.

* *
The drive west was uneventful for the first hour or so.

And then it wasn't.

One minute they were barreling up the highway towards Wyoming, the next there was a man standing in the middle of the fuckin' road and Dean was slamming on the brakes and swerving and finally skidding to a stop on the shoulder, having narrowly avoided hitting the dude.

Dean was pretty sure he had already been swearing, but now that they were stopped and he was shaking and panting a little after the superhuman way he'd managed to control the car, he let out one more "What the fuck!" before turning to Other!Sam.

"You okay?"

The words were automatic, as was Other!Sam's nod and Dean's relief that Other!Sam hadn't gone through the windshield head-first.

So far, so good.

But when he glanced back at the road, expecting to see the crazy dude still standing there, he was gone.

"Where -- " he started to say, when a deep voice spoke from directly behind him and he jumped a mile.

"Hello, Dean."

Dude was in the back seat. Shitfuck!

Dean was out of the car and had his gun drawn before he could think. It was shear instinct; anything that moved that fast was a threat, a supernatural something, and that meant --

But Other!Sam wasn't moving, didn't seem to find it the least bit strange to have a guy in a trench coat suddenly appear in the car, and was in fact speaking to the creature.

"Hey, Cas."

Dean stared at Other!Sam, then at the thing in his car.

"Who the hell are you?" he demanded, keeping his gun trained on the creature but guessing from Other!Sam's reaction that it wasn't a threat after all.

Although it was obviously supernatural. Nothing natural moved that fast.

"He's Castiel," Other!Sam provided helpfully. "He's an Angel of the Lord."

"He -- where -- No, we do not have those here," Dean felt panic rising in his chest, so he used his anger to help him control it. "I thought you said the angels were dicks."

Other!Sam shrugged. "Cas is the exception," he said. "He's the one who pulled Dean out of Hell."

Dean glared at Castiel again; serious blue eyes stared back at him intently.

Dude was pretty good-looking. For a dude.

"Okay," Dean nodded, frowning. "So what's he doing here?"

Suddenly the thing was gone, and in the next second it was standing right in front of him, blue eyes boring into Dean's like they could see right through to his soul.

"Fuck!"

Dean jumped back, almost shooting his baby.

Which was so not cool.

"What the hell, Sam!" he yelled at his not-brother, taking another step back from Castiel, who either had no sense of personal space or was deliberately teasing him. Either way, the thing was a menace.

"I have come to stop you from doing what you're about to do, Dean," Castiel said in his deep, gravelly voice. "You must not open the Devil's Gate."

"It's ok, Dean," Other!Sam was out of the car now, raising his hands in a calming gesture. "You can put the gun down. Castiel won't hurt you."

Other!Sam tilted his head toward the angel, raising his eyebrows.

"Right, Cas?"

"Of course I won't hurt him," Castiel confirmed with a shake of his head that was almost human. "If there's one thing I've learned from recent experience, it's how very precious human life is. Especially Winchesters'."

"Ok," Dean was still unwilling to lower his gun, although he was feeling pretty sure this creature couldn't be damaged by it. It made him feel a little more confident to pretend that it could, was all.

"So what do you want?" he demanded, trying to sound tougher than he felt.

"Cas, how are you even here?" Other!Sam was rounding the front of the car to stand behind Dean, facing Castiel, and Dean shifted his feet into a protective stance, guarding his not-brother, which somehow made him feel more confident.

Which was probably why Other!Sam was doing it.

"I slipped in through the portal in space," Castiel said. "Did Sam not tell you?"

'Tell us what?" Dean demanded, starting only a little as he felt Other!Sam's hand on his shoulder, felt his muscles relaxing under the comforting touch.

Castiel exchanged a glance with Other!Sam and Dean felt Other!Sam's hand move gently down his arm until his hand was covering Dean's.

"Put the gun down, Dean," Other!Sam breathed into his ear, and Dean shot one more threatening look at the angel-thing before complying. He felt more exposed, too vulnerable under the scrutiny of those blue, blue eyes, wondered briefly if Other!Dean and Castiel ever --

Wow. His mind did not just go there.

Dropping his eyes and clearing his throat, he shifted deliberately away from Other!Sam, still holding his gun loosely in his grip, but pointed at the ground now.

"Ok, so you're friends with an angel," he muttered, nodding his head toward Other!Sam and still not looking back at those intense blue eyes. "You have a monster -- a supernatural creature -- for a friend." He shook his head. "This is not the way Dad raised us."

His eyes flicked up to meet Other!Sam's. His not-brother was looking back at him sympathetically, just waiting for him to absorb the truth.

"This is weird for me, man," Dean huffed out the words, and Other!Sam nodded.

"I know, Dean," Other!Sam gave him a tentative smile. "It's ok. Castiel's one of the good guys. You can trust him."

Dean felt panic rise again, shot a glance at the angel-thing and its damn eyes, shook his head vehemently.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that," he muttered. "I can not shoot him, though, I guess."

Castiel shifted, lifted its chin, huffed out a breath. Sounded a little exasperated. Sounded almost human.

"Sam, we don't have time for this," Castiel said impatiently.

Impatiently? Angel things could be impatient?

"You need to make him understand," Castiel tried again, speaking to Other!Sam and gesturing at Dean. "He obviously trusts you. What Dean and Crowley have planned will cause the end of this world. You can't let them do that, Sam."

Other!Sam looked agitated suddenly, frowning and clenching his fists.

"Can't you talk to him, Cas? Tell him to stop what he's doing?" Other!Sam asked, and Dean had that odd feeling again -- that Castiel and the other Dean were --

Castiel looked uncomfortable, lowered his eyes.

"He doesn't listen to me," the angel said, sounding almost miserable. "All he thinks about is getting you back, Sam. Whatever it takes."

Dean didn't so much not enjoy being talked about as if he wasn't there, as listening to Other!Sam and this angel thing talk about his doppelgänger as if Dean wasn't there.

This was so messed up.

"Hey, I'm right here," Dean tried. "I get that the other Dean wants his brother back. I'm the same way. So you better start explaining if you think I'd put a stop to something that does that. 'Cause from where I'm standing, I gotta say I agree with this Sam's brother, for once. We gotta do this. Gotta put things right and get our Sams back where they belong."

Other!Sam stared at him, and Dean didn't look but he was pretty sure the angel was staring at him too.

"What? Did I sprout horns or something? How can you think I wouldn't do whatever it took to get you back, Sam? If you were stranded in some other place and I found a way to get you out, yeah, I'd do it. Whatever the risks."

Other!Sam licked his lips, exchanged a look with Castiel.

And then Dean had to look too, because the angel thing was -- flickering. It was like he was there, but he wasn't there.

"Cas?" Other!Sam noticed it too, looked worried. "What's happening? You're fading."

Castiel looked up, then back at them, his expression even more intense than before.

"I don't have long," he said, and his voice sounded suddenly far away, then closer again. "The earth is moving and the portal is going out of range. I can't stay here."

He seemed to flicker again, and this time when he spoke his voice was thinner, as if it came down a long tunnel.

"You have to stop it, Dean," he said. "You're the only one who can."

Another flicker, then Castiel was gone.

Dean and Other!Sam stared at the space where the angel had been, then reflexively looked around to see if he would reappear, but after a minute or two they gave up and turned to each other.

Other!Sam's face was a mask of doubt and uncertainty.

"Ok, then," he said finally. "Now we know."

Dean stared at him, feeling his defenses rise.

"Now we know what, Sam?" he demanded, spreading his arms in a questioning gesture, his right hand still gripping his gun. "You believe that douche-bag? Huh? We just had a visit from a goddamn angel who told us the world is ending and you believe that shit?"

Other!Sam sighed. "Yeah, Dean, I do. I know Castiel. He isn't just any angel. He's our friend in the other world. He's saved us more times than I can count. Saved Dean, saved me. And if he says this thing we're doing is gonna destroy this world then yeah, I believe him."

"He's a goddamn angel, Sam," Dean insisted. "He's a supernatural thing. Things lie. They all lie."

Other!Sam took a deep breath. "I know it's hard for you to believe, Dean, but not all supernatural creatures are bad. There are some -- this one particularly -- who have actually helped us."

Dean shook his head. "No, no, no. They only help you if it gets them something. Then they fuck you up. This guy -- this angel -- he's got an agenda, man. He needs you only as long as he can use you. That's what this is. That's all this is. Sam, I can't believe you would fall for this."

Besides, he's clearly fucking your brother.

Other!Sam was shaking his head. "You're just gonna have to trust me on this, Dean," he said.

"Trust you?" Dean was determined not to lose it, but it was taking real effort. "You and your brother are in cahoots with supernatural monsters and you want me to trust you."

Dean shook his head, scrubbed his free hand across his face.

"I should probably just shoot you," he muttered, but of course Other!Sam knew he wouldn't. Couldn't.

But he had to know, because his brain was demanding that he know, despite what his heart was telling him.

"You said you went to Hell, Sam," Dean said. "Does that make you a demon? Have I been sleeping with a demon?"

Even as he said it, his guts clenched painfully and he stared up into Other!Sam's eyes, daring him to lie.

But Other!Sam's gaze flicked away, then closed tight as he lowered his head, jaw clenching. Dean felt the ground give way under him and he almost sank to his knees right there in the dirt.

"Sam?" his voice sounded pleading, even to his own ears.

Other!Sam opened his eyes, glanced at him, then away again.

"No, Dean," he breathed out. "I'm not a demon."

"OK, so what then?" Dean pressed. "What's happened to you these past eight years? 'Cause you are definitely not the Sam I know. You've changed. My Sam would never be friends with something supernatural. My Sam would never make deals with demons or be besties with an angel or go to Hell and come back -- come back with all his wounds healed and -- "

"I'm not him, Dean," Other!Sam broke in, catching Dean's eye. "I'm not your brother. And anyway, how do you know he never had a friend who was supernatural? Did you ever ask him?"

Dean stared, felt his mouth drop open in shock.

"You're kidding, right?" he demanded, but the look on Other!Sam's face gave him all the answer he needed.

Shit.

"Stupid, selfish, sentimental -- " he muttered, still reeling at the thought of his brother actually befriending one of the evil sons-o-bitches they hunted, but realizing at the same time that it made a kind of sense. Sam had always been a sucker for sob stories, and those evil things that haunted their hunts were definitely the sorriest dumb-asses on God's green earth.

Which begged the question.

"So if there's angels, does that mean -- " Dean was pretty sure of the answer, but he had to ask. And he could tell by the way Other!Sam lowered his eyes and shifted uncomfortably, that he hadn't needed to.

"Didn't think so," Dean answered himself before Other!Sam could beat him to it.

"Dean," Other!Sam's voice was soft, and the eyes he raised to Dean's face were filled with compassion. "We don't know, ok? We just don't know. Doesn't mean He doesn't exist. In fact, some of the stuff that's happened -- sometimes we think -- I mean, the main thing is there's been no proof He doesn't exist, despite all we've learned and seen and done."

Dean stared at his not-brother, riveted, torn between the need to hear more about a world where God might exist and the urge to mock Other!Sam's misplaced faith.

Other!Sam's lips tipped up into a tiny smile, reading the skepticism and desperation in Dean's face.

"There's Heaven, Dean," he said gently. "We've been there."

Dean frowned, pursed his lips, suddenly noticed his gun was still in his hand.

"'Course you have," he muttered as he clicked the safety back on and tucked the gun back into his pocket. "If there's Hell, there's gotta be Heaven. And angels. Makes perfect sense. All of it."

Other!Sam sighed. "Sometimes I wish I could go back in time, back to before all of it, and just start fresh." He pushed his hands through his hair and shifted his weight, staring out across the hood of the car at the barren landscape.

"When I'm with you, I can almost believe none of it happened," Other!Sam continued, turning his warm hazel gaze on his not-brother. "You may think I'm nothing like your Sam, and I get that. I'm not. But you -- you are the brother I looked up to when I was growing up. You have his courage, and his strength, and his certainty. You're the Dean I knew before all the bad stuff happened. And I -- I really loved that guy."

Dean looked away uncomfortably.

"Bad stuff happened, Sam," he insisted gruffly. "Mom died. We lost our home. Grew up in the life, moving around, hustling -- Bad stuff."

Other!Sam shook his head. "I just wish I'd known how good we had it," he said. "I wish I could've appreciated it more. Wish I could've appreciated you more. You and Dad. 'Cause it just wasn't that bad, Dean. We had each other, we had fun together. Our life was simple and straightforward and it had purpose. We saved people, did good things. And now you and your brother have been doing that for the past eight years while me and Dean have been falling apart and wrecking things and destroying everything we touch -- "

He put his head down, shifted again with one hand on his hip, rubbing the back of his neck with the other.

Dean watched him, fascinated. No one had ever envied their life before, but after all the revelations of the past twenty-four hours, he was beginning to see things from Other!Sam's point of view. And he had to agree; there was a certain simplicity in what they did. In how they lived. And after almost nine years of it, day in and day out, despite the times they spent apart, Dean had to admit he felt a certain pride in what they had accomplished. It wasn't flashy or save-the-world meaningful, but it helped. He was certain of that. He and Sam had helped people. Made a difference.

It was a good thing. Almost a good life.

But Other!Sam was still staring at the dirt, still rubbing the back of his neck. And Dean couldn't stand to watch that.

"Come on." He reached out and slapped Other!Sam's arm lightly. "Let's get some food. Your blood sugar's low, that's all it is."

NEXT CHAPTER - MASTERPOST

They went back to Klamath Falls the next day, just checking in.

But nothing had changed. The old schoolhouse was still there, and there were no signs of recent activity.

So they took another hunt, this time in Montana. Some deer hunters had run into a wendigo there, so the Winchesters found it and killed it, saving the hunters in the process. Another win.

Another vengeful spirit -- in Idaho this time -- took them away from Klamath again, and a week later they got a call from Bobby asking for their help with a nest of vampires in Wyoming.

By the end of the month they were in South Dakota, and when Dean suggested they check in on Bobby, Other!Sam got tears in his eyes and nodded vigorously.

Bobby was pleased to see them, but Other!Sam's reaction was heartbreaking. He grabbed the older man in an embrace that would've lasted till Tuesday if Dean hadn't finally pulled them apart.

"Hey, hey," he murmured to Other!Sam. "Come on, man. It's ok. It's just Bobby."

Other!Sam nodded, took a shaky breath, released the man who had meant so much to him in that other world, stood staring at him with tears streaming down his cheeks while Bobby stared back uncomfortably, seeing his own death in Other!Sam's eyes and feeling pretty spooked.

"So, in your world I'm dead, huh?" Bobby said finally.

Other!Sam nodded, wiping his messy face with the sleeve of his jacket, which only made it worse.

"Well, I hope it was a good death," Bobby muttered.

Other!Sam shook his head, waterworks starting again, and Dean reached out and rubbed his back, pulled him away toward the bathroom before he could blurt out "We killed you!" as it looked like he was about to.

"Come on, Sam, let's get you cleaned up," Dean murmured, shooting a warning glance at Bobby, who was still staring at Other!Sam with horrid fascination.

* *
"So you guys sound like real bad-asses in your world," Bobby noted later, once Other!Sam had come out of his freak-out and had a beer in his hand.

They were sitting on Bobby's porch, watching the sun set over the salvage yard, and Dean was thinking how a whole month had gone by with Sam still trapped in that other place. He was on his third beer and was considering getting pretty drunk tonight.

Other!Sam was brooding again, his face dark with memories of his world. His frown deepened.

"We're seriously bad news, if that's what you mean," he said. "You mess with us, you end up dead, mostly, whether you deserve it or not. It's not a good thing."

"Killing evil sons-o-bitches is what we do, boy," Bobby reminded him. "Trust me, it's a good thing."

Other!Sam shook his head.

"It's a curse," he stated flatly. "Wherever we go, people die. Good people. And the sick thing is, whatever we do to try to stop it just keeps coming back and biting us in the ass. Dean and I, we're so tangled up in evil shit all we can do is die. Except every time we do, some asshole angel or monster brings us back and it starts all over again."

Other!Sam closed his eyes. "I'm tired, Bobby," he said. "Sometimes I just want it to stop. All of it."

Bobby listened, his face getting darker by the minute. Dean could see he was building up to a pissed-off-Bobby lecture, and he was just relieved not to be the target of it, for once.

"Well boo hoo, Sam," Bobby burst out finally. "You think just because you lose a few people you can just give up the fight? What does that mean for the people you lost? Huh? That they died for nothin'? Well, I can speak for myself when I say I don't want my death to be in vain, and if I died in your world fighting alongside you and Dean, you can bet I knew exactly what I was doin'. So don't you dare take that away from me, you little shit, or I will haunt your ass."

"You already did," Other!Sam sighed.

"Well, good!" Bobby exclaimed. "You obviously deserved it! Now you listen to me, Sam Winchester, and if you know me at all you know I don't mince words when it comes to you boys -- you're like my own sons, so you better listen to me like I was your father, that worthless son-of-a-bitch..."

"Bobby," Dean admonished gently.

"Just tellin' it like it is, Dean," Bobby insisted.

"Bobby, I know you mean well, but you don't know what it's like in our world," Other!Sam was shaking his head. "Dean and I may have started out doing a little good, saving a few people. But since the angels got involved -- fuck, even before that -- we've caused more destruction than good. Bobby, in our world, we are the monsters."

"Well, I don't believe that for a minute, son," Bobby said. "My guess is, you and your Dean are having a little fight right now, and once you get past that, things will start to make sense again."

"What -- " Other!Sam's look of shock was classic. "How did you -- "

"Like I said, I know you, Sam, and when you're this down on yourself it's 'cause you and Dean are having one of your stupid lover's spats, so just get past it and go back to being the idjits we all know and love to get mad at. Obviously, you two are supposed to save the world. 'Cause that's what I'm countin' on, and you know I ain't been wrong yet."

Other!Sam was still staring, open-mouthed, and when he lifted his eyes to Dean, his not-brother just shrugged, took a swig of beer, and smacked his lips.

And that was the moment that Dean's phone blared out Led Zeppelin and Dean stood up like a shot. Only one person had that ringtone.

"Sam?" he put the phone to his ear.

"Hey, Dean," the voice of his Sam -- his brother -- filled his head and his heart so fast he felt faint for a moment, had to grab the back of the chair for support. "Where are you?"

"We're at Bobby's," Dean grounded out, struggling to fight back the sudden lump in his throat. "Where the hell are you?"

"We're still here," Sam said. "We're in Klamath. In the schoolhouse."

"Wait there," Dean ordered. "I'm on my way."

"No, Dean, listen. We're on the other side. The other Klamath. We've been here the whole time -- well, except for taking a week to drive to Kansas to do research," Sam's voice was fading, and Dean felt panic rising in his chest. He raised his eyes automatically to meet Other!Sam's.

"Sam?"

"Yeah, I'm still here," Sam's voice sounded clearer again. "Signal's being routed through a satellite that keeps drifting in and out of one of these portals in space. That's how we can talk to each other."

"Yeah?" Dean was so not interested in the details. "So can this satellite get you home?"

"Not unless we have a space shuttle with navigational control at our disposal," Sam huffed out a laugh.

"So what's the plan?"

"Dean has the plan," Sam said. "He has -- friends over here who have a pretty good understanding of this kind of thing. I think we need to trust him on this. I think you need to trust him."

"Like hell," Dean felt his hackles rise at the mention of his doppelgänger, and he realized he had serious issues with the dude who had wreaked such havoc with Other!Sam's life. He was damned if he would take orders from the bastard.

There was silence for a moment on the other end, then Dean could hear a deep voice rumbling in the background and realized Other!Dean was there too.

"Sam?" Dean raised his eyes, met Other!Sam's gaze, reading the anxiety there.

"We all have to get to someplace called Devil's Gate," Sam said. "It's in Wyoming. It's about a day's drive for us, same as you. so we can meet there tomorrow night."

"Devil's Gate?" Dean echoed. Other!Sam took a sharp breath; his face registered shock and more than a little fear. Dean frowned. "What's at Devil's Gate?" he said into the phone.

"Some serious power, according to Dean's friend," Sam answered. "It can open a portal so that Sam and I can cross over and go home."

The look on Other!Sam's face was raising all kinds of warning bells in Dean's mind, which made him mad as hell.

"Sam, you tell that son-of-a-bitch he's not giving the orders around here," he growled into the phone. "This is my universe and he's on my turf now. And I am not traipsing all over the country just because he says so -- "

"Dean," Sam's gentle voice cut in. "He wants to talk to Bobby."

"Well, fuck that! Asshat killed Bobby in his world. He lost his chance to talk to Bobby."

"Dean -- "

"No, Sam. You just tell him he can go fuck himself! In fact, put him on.I'll tell him myself."

"Dean, I don't think that's a good idea -- "

There was a shuffling sound and Sam's voice cut off, to be replaced by someone breathing into the phone -- someone who did not sound like Sam.

"This is Dean Winchester," the voice on the phone did not sound like his, but Dean realized that was just the weird reality of not being used to hearing his voice outside his own head. It was disconcerting, to say the least.

But it only took Dean a minute to recover. He was that mad.

"Listen, you son-of-a-bitch," Dean growled into the phone. "If you hurt my brother I swear to God I'll -- "

"Shut the fuck up," Other!Dean growled back at him. "I need to speak to Bobby."

"Not on your life, you dickwad douchebag asshat -- " Dean let fly a few more invectives before he felt Other!Sam's hand over his, gently pulling the phone away, laying his other hand on his chest, just over his heart.

Somehow the touch managed to soothe him, and he met Other!Sam's eyes as he let him take the phone away, press it to his own ear. Other!Sam was calm, his hazel eyes soft with compassion. Dean stared back and felt his anger and tension slough off his shoulders.

"Hello?" Other!Sam spoke into the phone, keeping his hand on Dean's chest for a moment more, until he was sure Dean was calmer. Then Other!Sam lowered his eyes so he could focus on talking to his brother, and Dean watched him, noting the tightening of his jaw, the short, sharp tone of his responses. "What's this about Devil's Gate?"

Other!Sam paused for so long Dean almost grabbed the phone back from him. He watched the emotions flicker across Other!Sam's face as he listened to his brother, and it just made him want to punch the guy, soothe the rigid lines in Other!Sam's forehead, kiss away the tension in his mouth and jaw.

Other!Sam's eyes flicked to him, as if he knew what Dean was thinking, and his face visibly relaxed for a moment before he turned his attention back to his brother.

But Dean had seen the soft look in his eyes -- it was sadness. Other!Sam was already giving in to whatever his brother was telling him, but he wasn't happy about it.

Other!Sam took a deep breath, spoke again into the phone. "Yeah. Right. OK. No, he'll be fine with it. Yeah, Dean. I got it."

Other!Sam listened for another minute, then glanced at Bobby. "He looks good. Like Bobby. No, like before. Yeah. No, I don't think you need to talk to him. Seriously, dude, just deal."

Other!Sam paused for several minutes, obviously listening to a tirade from the other side. Dean watched as his jaw clenched and unclenched, recognizing the stubborn Winchester will-power at work. He let himself feel a little amused at Other!Sam when he finally got a word in.

"OK, whatever, Dean," Other!Sam muttered. "I'm not putting him on."

And Other!Dean was clearly yelling again, because Other!Sam went silent for another stretch before he said, "OK. We'll see you tomorrow, then," ending the call and handing the phone back to Dean.

"What's Devil's Gate, Sam?" Dean demanded, and Other!Sam sighed.

"In our world it's a kind of door," he said, squaring his shoulders and shifting his feet. Dean had the distinct impression that the very idea of this "door" made Other!Sam nervous.

"What kind of door?" Dean pressed, exchanging glances with Bobby.

Other!Sam took a deep breath, raising his eyes to Dean's, then glancing at Bobby.

"It's a door into Hell," he answered grimly.

"Oh, that sounds peachy," Bobby exhaled sharply.

"There's a lot of power there," Other!Sam sighed. "Dean and your Sam think if they open it from their side it will pack enough punch to open a portal into this world."

His eyes met Dean's, and Dean read the doubt and uncertainty there.

"You don't think it will," Dean noted.

"I don't know, Dean," Other!Sam said. "In our world, that Gate got opened once and all Hell broke lose. Literally. I don't know what it will do to this world. Maybe nothing. But maybe it will loose hundreds of demons into this world, like it did in ours. That's not a risk I'm happy taking. We've spent the past six years trying to close the gates of Hell. I'm not excited about the idea of opening one."

"If it works, we get our brothers back," Dean said, determined to keep on track to the main point. "Sam thinks it will work."

Other!Sam huffed out a breath. "Your Sam hasn't lived in my world very long," he said grimly. "He doesn't see how fucked up things have been there since we opened that Gate."

"But if it works, Sam comes home," Dean insisted.

"Dean, that's not all that's at stake here," Other!Sam turned to Bobby. "You see that, at least, don't you?"

Bobby raised his eyebrows, glancing from one Winchester to the other before answering.

"I've seen you boys get yourselves in a mess o' trouble more times than I can count," he said. "And every single time it comes down to -- if one of you needs saving, the other one is willing to risk Heaven and Hell to save him. Doesn't seem to work any other way, so I quit having a say about anything involving you two idjits years ago. Never made a lick o' difference."

"Thanks, Bobby," Other!Sam frowned at him. "Real helpful."

Bobby shrugged. "Just sayin'," he grumbled.

The phone in Bobby's house rang then, and Bobby looked so relieved as he went in to get it Dean felt a little guilty.

Till he heard Bobby's voice say, "Dean?" into the phone and Dean realized that Other!Dean had called the old hunter directly.

"What the hell's he doing?" Dean demanded, and Other!Sam shrugged.

"He's Dean," Other!Sam said as if it was obvious, but when he saw the blank look on Dean's face he elaborated. "You know, control freak, bossy, has to do everything himself because he doesn't trust anyone else to do it right?" He lowered his eyes, adding, "Especially his brother" in a bitter tone that went straight to Dean's heart.

Shit.

"You're everything to him, you stupid Sasquatch," Dean murmured fondly, and Other!Sam huffed out a bitter laugh. "Even if he's too stubborn to admit it."

"Yeah, well, that's a big part of the problem, isn't it?" Other!Sam said. "If I didn't loom so large in his life maybe he could see a little better."

"He'll never let you go, Sam," Dean said quietly. "It ain't in him."

Other!Sam looked up, staring. "But you and Sam -- you said you -- he had a girlfriend -- "

Dean shifted awkwardly, ran a hand over his face, glanced away, cleared his throat.

"I hated it," he said finally, his voice rough. "Every goddamn minute. When he's not here, I'm not -- myself. I'm not complete. That's just the way it is."

"But you -- you said -- "

"I know what I said," Dean nodded. "I'm just sayin', letting Sam go -- " He shook his head. "I do it, when he needs it, but it hurts like hell. It's never what I want. Never."

"But you do it, for him," Other!Sam clarified. "Because you love him, Dean. That's what you do when you love somebody. You put their needs before your own. Even if it means you have to let them go."

Other!Sam shook his head. "My Dean can't do that."

Dean's chest was aching with the need to gather the huge man into his arms, struggling at the same time with embarrassment at the turn of the conversation. Some things, he knew he just couldn't talk about. Loving his brother was high on that list, which made no sense, he knew, but was just the way it was. In his book, love was something you do, not something you talk about.

Fortunately, Bobby took that moment to interrupt them.

"Well, that was weird." Bobby was glaring at Dean. "Boy's bossier than you are, if that's even possible."

Other!Sam looked at him expectantly. Dean was still staring down at his beer, fighting to control his discomfort at being compared to that other Winchester.

Bobby seemed to sense the mood on the porch and frowned.

"OK, I'm changin' the channel," he announced gruffly. "Gonna start some grub. When you two are done with your little episode of Not So Young Anymore But Still Plenty Restless, feel free to join me."

He shuffled back inside the house, letting the screen door slam behind him.

Other!Sam and Dean stared at each other for a moment, then burst into giggles.

Which quickly became outright belly-wrenching laughter, the full-on kind that made your eyes water and your chest heave. Dean finally had to bend over with his hands on his knees to try to catch a breath, and Other!Sam put his hand on Dean's shoulder to keep from falling over.

It was a full minute before they could straighten up and look at each other again, then Bobby called "Are you done out there? 'Cuz I could use a hand in here," which was somehow the funniest thing they had ever heard and set them off again for another minute and a half.

After pork and beans and beer and some kind of green vegetable that Other!Sam managed to cut up into a sort of makeshift salad -- because Dean was so not letting Other!Sam eat the beans if they were gonna share a continent together (and he did not want to spend their last night sleeping alone in the Impala) -- they spent a little time going over the case. Other!Dean had said something about needing ingredients for a spell in order to open the portal from this side, had figured Bobby had those things, which he did for the most part. Whatever he didn't have he figured he could collect from a couple of fellow hunters and the pharmacy and hardware store in town. They needed to stop in Cold Oak to get some ghost-contaminated soil, which made Other!Sam visibly nervous.

"What's in Cold Oak?" Dean demanded.

"That's where it started, in my world," Other!Sam said, and he wouldn't meet Dean's eyes when he said it, so Dean had an idea whatever happened was pretty bad.

After Bobby went to bed ("Big day tomorrow, boys. This old man needs some serious shut-eye first.") Other!Sam started to spread blankets on the couch.

"I'll take the floor," he told Dean, who said nothing, just moved up behind Other!Sam and took his wrist, pulling him around to face him.

"We'll both take the floor," he said softly, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Other!Sam's hair, pulling his face down for a kiss.

Dean's chest was swelling with love and longing and wishing things could be different, so he kissed Other!Sam tenderly, almost chastely, letting his fingers play with the soft hair at the back of Other!Sam's neck, cupping Other!Sam's cheek and running his thumb along the angular line of his jaw.

He was already missing this same-yet-different not-brother, fully aware that if this thing they were planning to do tomorrow actually worked, he would never see Other!Sam again. And as much as he felt grateful that he would have his Sam back again, he sensed that there would always be a funny little hole in his heart where this one belonged.

As he pulled back from the kiss, savoring the taste of Other!Sam's soft bottom lip, he wondered idly how many Other!Sams were out there, and felt absolutely certain he could love them all.

"Wait -- does Bobby know?" Other!Sam asked as Dean released his mouth. He glanced nervously toward the hallway, toward the stairs to Bobby's bedroom.

Dean smiled. "Probably," he muttered. "It doesn't exactly come up in conversation, but yeah -- I think he knows."

Other!Sam stiffened as another thought hit him.

"Does Dad?"

Dean pulled back a little, eyes wide. "Hell, no, Sam, are you crazy?"

Other!Sam relaxed. "Yeah," he breathed. "Dad always was pretty clueless."

Dean was still holding Other!Sam's face in his hands, rubbing his thumb along his jaw, caressing the stubbled chin and dimpled cheek.

"Last night on earth, Sammy," he breathed softly. "You wanna -- " He let his words trail off suggestively.

Other!Sam grinned adorably. "Can't believe you use the same line. You're so much like him, how can you be so different?"

"Hell if I know," Dean murmured, and Other!Sam's eyes filled with tears in the moment before his lips claimed Dean's.

* *

Later, when they lay warm and sleepy and tangled together in Bobby's blankets on Bobby's floor, Dean asked, "What happened at Cold Oak?"

Other!Sam stiffened, and he was silent for so long Dean decided he wasn't going to tell him.

But finally he said, "I died. For the first time. It started a chain of events that hasn't really stopped. Probably never will."

"What, so now you're immortal?" Dean teased, but Other!Sam was so silent and serious Dean had to kiss him again, caress the tension out of his face and shoulders, fighting down his own sense of dread and foreboding at the thought of how seriously fucked-up things were in that other universe.

"How did it happen?" he asked when he thought Other!Sam was finally relaxed again.

"Dude stabbed me in the back," Other!Sam said. "You were there, saw the whole thing. Held me while I died."

"Fuck," Dean breathed. He hated to ask, but knew he needed to know. They were lying on their sides, facing each other, and when Dean slid his hand over Other!Sam's back, unconsciously feeling for the scar, Other!Sam squirmed a little under his hand, seemed to know what Dean was searching for.

"Not there now," he explained softly. "My body was all healed up when I got back from Hell. None of the old scars." He snorted a laugh, sounding bitter again. "Dean said he had been re-hymenated. Said it made him a virgin again."

Yeah, Dean really did not want to know this.

"So what do you think's gonna happen tomorrow?" he asked, mostly to change the subject so they did not have to mention Other!Dean's sex life again.

Other!Sam shrugged, but wouldn't meet Dean's gaze.

"If this Devil's Gate thing is as powerful in this world as it is in yours, we're gonna need all the help we can get," Dean noted. "It's a good thing Bobby called for backup."

Other!Sam nodded, still not meeting Dean's eyes.

"And you're gonna get your brother back," Dean finished. "That's a good thing, i'n't it?"

When Other!Sam didn't respond this time, Dean slipped his fingers under his chin, tipping his face up.

Other!Sam kept his eyes down stubbornly for another minute, but Dean persisted.

"Sam?" he coaxed, and the hazel eyes finally opened, met his. They were shining with tears.

"Gonna miss this," Other!Sam almost whispered, his voice broken. "Gonna miss you."

Dean felt his eyes crinkle in a smile. He stroked Other!Sam's cheek, ran his fingers through Other!Sam's hair.

"I'm awesome," he noted, tipping his lips up into a mocking grin.

"Yes, you are," Other!Sam agreed, his eyes lingering on Dean's lips for a moment before he leaned in to claim them.

* *
In the night, Dean woke to find the place next to him empty. It was still dark, and for a moment he wasn't sure what had woken him.

Then he heard Other!Sam's whispered voice and realized that Other!Sam was behind him, in the kitchen, talking to someone on his phone, and from the tone of his side of the conversation, it was pretty clear to Dean who Other!Sam was talking to.

Dean lay still, listening to the urgency and anxiety in Other!Sam's voice as he berated his brother over the plan to open Devil's Gate, and when Other!Sam ended the call abruptly it was clear he had hung up on him.

After a minute, Other!Sam returned to him, slipping quietly under the blanket next to Dean and scooping him into his arms when he realized Dean was awake.

"You called him?" Dean clarified, and Other!Sam nodded, digging his chin into Dean's hair as Dean pushed his face into the warm muscled skin of Other!Sam's broad chest.

For a moment they lay still, breathing in the other's scent. Dean let his hand wander down Other!Sam's belly, rest at the waistband of his boxers as he slid his thigh more snugly between Other!Sam's legs, eliciting a small hitched breath.

"Who's Crowley?" Dean asked into Other!Sam's firm, over-heated skin.

He felt Other!Sam stiffen, his whole body going tense, and he was silent so long Dean thought he wouldn't answer.

Dean finally raised his head, looking up at Other!Sam, who was looking down at him with an expression of such anguish Dean gasped.

"What is it, Sam?" he demanded, pushing himself back so he could half-sit up next to Other!Sam, raising himself on his elbows, then reaching up to turn Other!Sam's face toward him.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked again, and Other!Sam let out a long, shuddering breath, his body shaking with sobs as the tears flowed out of his lovely eyes, down his handsome face.

Dean reached for his own discarded tee-shirt, let Other!Sam dry his eyes on it as he threaded his fingers gently through Other!Sam's soft hair.

"Come on, buddy," he murmured. "Pull it together. You're ok. I've got you."

The low rumble of Dean's voice and his comforting words pierced through Other!Sam's misery after a minute or so, then it took another minute for Other!Sam to gather his thoughts into a coherent response.

Dean waited patiently, stroking Other!Sam's hair until he was able to collect himself, look up at Dean with shining, red-rimmed eyes and flushed cheeks.

"My brother and I have been going through a tough time lately," he said finally. "Dean did something -- he let something really bad happen."

Other!Sam took a deep breath, looked away for a minute, gathering his thoughts again, before returning his gaze to Dean's.

"So he left for awhile," Other!Sam continued.

Dean raised his eyebrows at that.

"Wait, your brother -- he left you?" he clarified, unable to get his mind around the concept. "How could he do that?"

Other!Sam gave a nod.

"Yeah, he thinks he's poison. Figured I was better off without him," Other!Sam said.

Dean gaped, struggling to imagine the level of depraved self-loathing that kind of behavior would take.

"Dude is dangerous," he said finally. "His head's in a really bad place."

Other!Sam frowned at him. "How do you know?" he asked.

Dean shrugged. "I'm him," he said simply. "I get how he thinks. And if he's leaving you, thinking you're better off without him, deliberately staying away from you -- That's just fucked up, man."

Other!Sam was still frowning, considering.

"So who's Crowley?" Dean asked again.

Other!Sam raised his eyebrows, opened his mouth to answer, then frowned again.

"He's -- " Dean could see the flicker of anxiety in his eyes and suddenly knew that Other!Sam was about to lie to him.

"He's a hunting buddy of Dean's," Other!Sam answered. "Somebody Dean would never hunt with normally, but after he left -- "

"So this guy is bad news," Dean clarified.

Other!Sam wouldn't meet Dean's eyes, just flicked a short glance at him and nodded.

"Yeah, pretty much," Other!Sam agreed.

"And while your brother was awol he hung out with this -- Crowley," Dean stated the obvious.

Other!Sam gave another short nod.

"Jealousy's a bitch, Sam," Dean tried to lighten the mood. "Six-foot, green-eyed bitch."

Other!Sam lifted his eyes then, gaze startled, then softening as he saw the smile in Dean's eyes.

"You -- " Other!Sam breathed. "How do you just know this stuff?"

Dean shrugged. "Good instincts," he noted. "Sam says I've got good instincts."

"Yeah, you do," Other!Sam agreed, his gaze dropping to Dean's mouth.

Dean let his hand wander down Other!Sam's cheek, stroked his bottom lip with his thumb until Other!Sam's fingers closed around his wrist, pulled him down for a kiss, then rolled Dean onto his back and surged over him, slipping his leg between Dean's and grinding into him as he deepened the kiss.

And if Other!Sam's lovemaking was a little more intense and needy than usual, a little more purposeful, then Dean was letting that happen. Because it was so deeply ingrained in him to give Sam what he needed, even this broken, damaged Sam who was not his brother yet felt and tasted just like him.

They would deal with the rest of the world tomorrow.

NEXT CHAPTER - MASTERPOST

CHAPTER 2

When Other!Sam got back, it was getting late, but he seemed in a little better mood. He nodded "hey," at Dean as he made his way into the bathroom to shower, and when he came out he seemed more relaxed, or at least a little less uptight, which Dean decided was maybe all he could hope for with this obviously more high-strung model of his brother.

They went over the case together, agreeing that things did not look good. Dean assured Other!Sam that his Sam might be having more luck on his side of this thing, and Other!Sam agreed reluctantly, especially after Dean mentioned that he'd checked with Bobby to be sure the old hunter hadn't unearthed anything like this "other universe portal" thing in his vast experience. He hadn't, but Other!Sam was impressed.

"Bobby's alive over here?" he blurted, making Dean wince.

It had occurred to Dean that Other!Sam's world might have a lot of differences, not least of which might be the relationship between the brothers. Not that he was looking for it, exactly, but he had already sensed a definite coolness in the way Other!Sam treated him. Irritation, annoyance -- those responses from Sam were familiar, but the total lack of any overt signs of physical affection, that was -- just off somehow. Dean was used to sparring with his brother -- friendly teasing and wrestling, both verbal and physical, were a normal part of their interaction with each other, the latter most often ending in the relieving of some sexual tension, thank god. 'Cause they sure didn't hold back when it came to that aspect of their relationship. No need to. It had been a normal part of their partnership for so long it had become a permanent part of who they were together. It was so easy and comfortable between them that they had pretty much forgotten a time when they wondered if there was something wrong with them for loving each other that way.

It was just the Winchester Way.

But not, apparently, the Other!Winchester way.

Which made Dean curious to find out what other differences there were between their lives and the lives of these weirdly repressed doppelgängers.

But when he suggested to Other!Sam that they hit a local bar and just hang out together for an evening, Other!Sam seemed genuinely surprised.

"You want me to go out to a bar with you?" he repeated, like it was the craziest thing he'd ever heard.

"Yeah," Dean nodded. "Is that so strange?"

"Yes, Dean, actually, it is," Other!Sam said, his jaw tightening and eyes pinching like he expected to be the butt of a joke.

"Well, I don't know what to tell you, Sam," Dean flung his arms out helplessly. "My Sam and I go out to bars together all the time. Best way to pick up chicks, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," Other!Sam agreed, but seemed extremely hesitant, unsure.

"Come on, Sammy," Dean coaxed. "We've been at this for hours and we've got bupkis. Definitely time for a break. I'm buyin'."

Other!Sam still seemed reluctant, but also maybe a little pleased. At least Dean imagined he saw that in the kid's face.

And after they were settled at a table in the bar with their beers Dean asked,

"So, your Dean never takes you to bars, huh?"

Other!Sam lowered his eyes, grinning bashfully, playing with the label on his bottle.

"He says I'm awkward with girls," Other!Sam said, and Dean shrugged.

"Yeah, so?" he prompted. "Awkward is cute. Girls like the shy, sensitive type. Presents a challenge."

Other!Sam peered up at Dean from under his hair, which was just about the cutest thing ever.

"He says I'm a liability," Other!Sam insisted. "He says I'm a buzz kill."

Dean frowned. "Your brother sounds like kind of an asshole," he noted, and Other!Sam grinned and lowered his eyes again.

"Nah, he's alright," Other!Sam said loyally. "He's my brother, ya know?"

Dean let out a long breath. "Yeah, I do," he agreed, taking a long swig of his beer, missing Sam suddenly.

"So what's your brother like?" Other!Sam asked. "Your Sam?"

Dean shrugged. "Obsessive, driven, loyal, brave, bad-ass." Gorgeous, hung like a horse, incredible in bed...

Other!Sam was looking at him like a drowning man, like he couldn't believe what he was hearing but couldn't get enough.

"Don't get me wrong," Dean said with a little smirk. "Kid's also sweaty, whiny, bitchy sometimes, especially when he's not getting what he needs. I have to make him eat, 'cause he forgets when he's working and then he gets really cranky. And when he's deep into something he doesn't sleep, so I gotta help him with that too." Don't say it. Don't.

Other!Sam raised his eyebrows. "You get him drunk?"

Dean gave a small laugh. "No, no. Drunk Sammy is Silly Sammy. Totally ridiculous. To be avoided at all costs."

"So -- you hit him?" Other!Sam suggested hesitantly.

Dean stared. "What? No! Just to knock him out? What are you talking about?"

Other!Sam flinched, looked down at his beer, and Dean felt his eyes widen, then narrow into a frown.

"Are you saying he hits you?" he asked, feeling anger coiling in his stomach. "Your brother hits you?"

Other!Sam shrugged. "I hit him too," he said. "We fight a lot. Relieves the tension, I guess."

Sex is healthier, Dean thought. Fewer concussions. Usually.

"Doesn't sound very brotherly," he noted grimly, liking his doppelgänger less and less.

Other!Sam shrugged again. "He's Dean," he said simply. "He likes to be in control. The boss. Big brother."

Dean felt himself blush involuntarily. If Other!Sam only knew what lay under that macho veneer...

Suddenly Dean felt an overwhelming urge to show him. Give Other!Sam a peek behind the curtain, so to speak.

Ha! What a surprise Other!Dean would get! Suddenly his Sammy could know all kinds of things he never suspected about himself. Dean could teach Other!Sam to push buttons Other!Dean didn't even know he had.

Yeah, and just how was he gonna do that? By cheating on Sam?

Yeah, not so good.

He shook his head, trying to clear it. Took another swig of beer. Other!Sam was peering at him curiously, and Dean had to hope the flush in his cheeks could be accounted for by the beer. He heard Sam's voice in his head telling him how hot he looked when he blushed, and it made him even more self-conscious.

Fuck.

Dean set the beer bottle down and cleared his throat.

"Yeah, don't be so sure," he said. "The whole macho thing is a little over-rated. Sometimes it's kind of a cover for something."

Other!Sam huffed a breath that almost sounded like relief. "Yeah, that's what I told him," he said. "He overcompensates. That's why everybody thinks we're gay."

Dean choked. "What?"

Other!Sam shrugged. "Nobody ever believes we're brothers," he said, shaking his head, then looking up at Dean with an expression of disbelief. "What, that doesn't happen to you guys?"

Dean shook his head.

"Never," he lied. Truth was, it just didn't matter anymore, if it ever had. "We've adopted more of a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy, I guess. We don't exactly go around broadcasting that we're brothers. Simplifies things."

"Ah," Other!Sam nodded, then frowned. "But then -- So you're okay with that? With the whole gay thing, I mean."

Dean shrugged, took another sip of beer. "I figure it doesn't really apply to us," he said. "Me and Sam, we've got our own deal. Not really anybody else's business."

"Huh," Other!Sam was still frowning. "I guess I never thought of it that way."

The kid looked so lost, so overwhelmed by Dean's attention, it broke Dean's heart.

Ah, fuck it. Sam would totally understand. Will totally forgive him. This just cannot be allowed to continue.

Dean pulled a couple of bills from his pocket, threw them on the table as he stood up.

"Let's get outta here," he said.

Other!Sam rose to go too, obviously used to taking orders, and they moved together toward the door. Dean noticed Other!Sam shoot an apologetic glance at the waitress, who had been eyeing them since they came in, obviously hoping for a little attention of her own from Dean, disappointed when he clearly had eyes only for his brother.

When they reached the dark parking lot Dean didn't hesitate. Crowding Other!Sam up against the passenger side of the Impala, he only let Other!Sam take a minute to register what was happening before he grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled him in -- and down -- so that he could press his mouth against that open-mouthed, stupid expression on Other!Sam's lips.

Other!Sam gave a surprised grunt, his whole body tensing and going still, and Dean only held the kiss for a minute, enough to let Other!Sam feel Dean's intention pressed against his gargantuan thigh, before he let go, stepping back so he could return Other!Sam's startled gaze with a wink and a smirk.

Then he left the poor bastard to think through what the hell had just happened -- because he knew Sam, and this version of Sam would be processing, processing -- as Dean moved around to the driver's door, got in, started the car.

"You coming?" he called to Other!Sam, who was still standing next to the car with his fingers pressed to his lips.

And then Other!Sam was getting into the car, folding his long legs against the dash, deliberately not looking at Dean but sneaking glances once the car started moving, silent and thinking, thinking, thinking. Dean could practically hear the gears shifting in his Not-brother's head as he drove them the short distance to the motel, parked, got out, locked the car, threw a glance at Other!Sam across the hood, lifting his eyebrows in a look that always got his Sam going because he knew exactly what was coming.

This Sam, though, just looked wide-eyed back at him like he couldn't believe this was happening. And when they entered the motel and Other!Sam suddenly understood why there was only one bed in the room -- yeah, Sam, that's right, we always take the room with the king, get it now? -- well. that was just priceless.

And totally hot.

And really, the boy was smart, as Dean knew he would be, and it didn't take much to get him going because really, he was so on board with this he couldn't get his clothes off fast enough, ripping that pretty green shirt in the process and losing buttons all over the place. And Dean barely had time to reach for him before Other!Sam was all over him, biting and grunting and tearing off Dean's clothes. They stumbled onto the bed, arms and legs and clothes and mouths all tangled together, and it was rough and quick and they were only half-undressed before Other!Sam was grinding against him and sinking his teeth into Dean's neck and bellowing as he came in his jeans while Dean held him, just held him as he shook out his orgasm, gave a few more thrusts as he came down, then collapsed in a big, sweaty heap on top of Dean, breathing hard into his neck.

For several minutes they lay still, Dean stroking small circles across Other!Sam's bare back, until his breathing slowed and evened out and his upstairs brain came back on line. Then Other!Sam's lips pressed a gentle kiss against Dean's neck, where Dean could feel the bruise already forming, and his big hands moved down the silky skin of Dean's sides where they had rucked his tee up to his armpits in Other!Sam's desperate need to find bare skin, and Other!Sam rolled to the side, then onto his back, staring up at the ceiling with a look of bliss and shock and awe on his face that Dean knew well.

"You okay?" Dean asked.

Other!Sam barked out a shallow laugh.

"Yeah," he huffed out, then turned his head to meet Dean's gaze. "How long? You and Sam -- how long?"

Dean shrugged. "Since forever, I guess," he said. "Since you were old enough to figure out how hot I am."

Sam frowned. "I didn't go to Stanford?"

"Oh, you went," Dean nodded. "You left. Fucker."

"But I came back," Sam nodded. "I couldn't stay away. And this -- "

"Started up again, yeah," Dean nodded. "Ever since. You and me. Well, him and me."

"Fuck." Other!Sam stared up at the ceiling, processing.

"Pretty much, yeah," Dean agreed.

Other!Sam turned his head and stared at him again, drinking in Dean's features like a starving man, and Dean grinned back at him.

"He's gonna hate you for this," Other!Sam whispered. "For cheating on him. With me."

Dean pushed himself up on his elbows, then sat all the way up and pulled his tee-shirt off over his head, turning toward Other!Sam, whose eyes were growing dark again as he watched Dean undress.

"He'll get over it," Dean murmured as he leaned down to press his lips to Other!Sam's. "He'd figure we did it anyway, even if we didn't. He knows me, and I ain't very good at fasting."

"Fuck," Other!Sam murmured into Dean's mouth.

And they were off again.

* *

Later -- much later, after they had worn each other out and showered together and gone at it again and finally fallen asleep wrapped around each other, warm and naked and exhausted -- Other!Sam tracing lazy circles on Dean's chest and belly as he spooned him, pressing his lips into the tiny hairs on the back of Dean's neck until Dean laced his fingers through Other!Sam's and hugged his arm against his chest, stilling it -- Other!Sam whispered The Words, and Dean smiled.

"No, you don't, Sam," he rumbled softly. "You love him. There's a difference. I'm not him."

Other!Sam's lips pressed against Dean's neck again.

"Fuck," he whispered. "I am so fucked."

Yes, you are, Sammy, Dean thought smugly. Yes, you are.

NEXT CHAPTER - MASTERPOST

Title: Should You Ever Leave
Author: amypond45
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Pairing: Sam Winchester/Jensen Ackles, past Sam Winchester/Dean Winchester
Words: 21,848
Characters: Sam Winchester, Jensen Ackles, Crowley, Demon!Dean Winchester
Summary: Two months after Dean died and disappeared, Sam is getting desperate, doing whatever he can to find his brother. He finds a locator spell that seems to work, bringing someone to the bunker who looks and sounds exactly like Dean, but isn't. Sam's missing his brother something awful, and having his doppelgänger around is pretty confusing.
Note: This is a little story that came to me after watching "Behind the Scenes: A Fan's Perspective," because I was worried about Sam being all alone after Dean left him at the end of Season 9.

CHAPTER ONE - CHAPTER TWO - CHAPTER THREE - CHAPTER FOUR

READ IT ON AO3