Crying into the Void over someone I don't even know...

[amypond45]

When Jared's tweets came in last night at about 9:30 my time all I could think was it's like 2:30 in the morning in Europe and Jared is crying out for help and it hit so hard I don't know how to express it. So I followed tweets for awhile until I was just too exhausted and teary-eyed to think, and then woke up again at 4:00 a.m. to check my twitter feed again and listen to Jensen sing "Sweet Home Alabama" and ask myself, okay, this is a person I've never met. I get why I cry about the characters, but why am I crying over this person I don't even know? Could someone please explain this to me? Cuz I'm a wreck. Yes, I sent tweets to him because ONLY THE MOST HARD-HEARTED MONSTER COULD RESIST THAT PLEA! Now I just need to vent because these emotions are stronger than they should be and my brain is telling me I'm a complete idiot but my heart is just sobbing.

Thanks for letting me vent, world!

Comments

[steeplechasers.livejournal.com]

gurl, i feel you. i was so stressed out and anxious for him all last night and this morning to the point where i felt sick. everything seems to be okay, i know jensen has been checking in on him periodically and he's at home with gen and the tots, which is good. but it still feels awful to care so much about someone you don't (or barely) know and not be able to offer them comfort when they really need it beyond a message they may or may not see.

(especially horrible when he and i suffer the same illness, and i know what it's like, and to think of him feeling that KILLS me.)

[hugs]

[amypond45.livejournal.com]

It is this. It's such a helpless feeling. And I'm embarrassed to be so invested in this man I don't even know. I mean, I'm an educated, reasonable human being who knows the difference between fiction and reality, and up to now I've been able to keep from feeling anything toward J & J except appreciation for their portrayal of Sam & Dean, and enjoyment of posted vids and pics of their public appearances. But for some reason, this just devastated me. I guess it pushed the buttons where I've kept my own depression hidden for so many years, and having him just come out and admit to it, then to tweet so openly and honestly of his need for help, bringing this issue front and foremost to so many people...it's just way beyond moving to me.